13 Comments
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Winifred Greenhalgh's avatar

Thank you Susan, I think you write beautifully. Every time I read you I am moved and intellectually stimulated by your thoughtful, self reflective and informed approach.

Lynne Cameron's avatar

excellent piece! Thank you.

And Beauvoir's question rolls on. Still in need of attention.

In my early 70s, I am finding another level of being my self / by myself. Now maybe I can be in relation without losing myself. And I am so grateful for granddaughters who remind me what being close feels like.

Zoë's avatar

Wow! Or should I saw Bow Wow? Very beautiful piece, thank you. ♥️

Walklate, Sandra's avatar

Very thought provoking Susan. How do women (perhaps of my age) find themselves outside of their relationships with others. I find this a perpetual conundrum with no dog to act as intermediary! Lovely writing as ever.........much to contemplate...

Christine Hankinson's avatar

So nourishing and so true.

I discovered dog after everything, partner, youngest child to uni, business had left me in a matter of weeks.

I got him under advice from my brother, as a safety measure, as I was suddenly living in a large house alone and there was a spate of burglaries in the neighbourhood.

Instead this rescue puppy, picked blindly and quickly, completely turned me around. I had no expectations that he would save me, was completely blindsided by this independent, undemanding love.

As I also often confused myself and others

by fears of engulfment and abandonment, here was a creature that got it and I could relax … and how dog walks are pretty much the answer to everything 🙂 I was a bit late reading this , glad I did

Susan Pickard's avatar

I'm so glad you discovered the life-sustaining gift which is the love of a dog

Christine Hankinson's avatar

Bess and Ivy followed Bert, each one so exquisitely different. My daughter has Dandy and we meet every day because of the dogs

Susan Pickard's avatar

Oh how lovely! Such beautiful dogs. For me, Branwell and Violet have followed on from dear little Milo. For me it was above all the shock of realising, through Milo, that love and freedom could co-exist. I wish I’d known this years and years before.

Dr Lynn R S Genevieve's avatar

So insightful - describes my experience of life as a woman perfectly - and incidentally my black Labrador is called Indi…

Georgina Bruce's avatar

Love this. I am another who has been saved by dogs!

Pam Hayes's avatar

I absolutely love this. You have put into words my own experience and in such a beautiful and well written way, as always. Thank you for putting into words what I cannot. I will seek out the first part, which I have somehow overlooked ❤️

Steve Murray's avatar

Might i add, not just in relation to (yet another) wonderful piece of writing, but having read the replies so far: that men also feel these things too, very much so. This isn't a criticism at all, but i think men and women might understand each other a little better if we can appreciate how we're similarly affected by the self/relationship balance.

Susan Pickard's avatar

Thank you Steve and I agree very much with this. I was thinking of this as I was finishing the post, not least because Dean Potter, my only male example, is very much an exception to Erikson’s rule. Also: I thought of all the other great stories of profound companionship with dogs - featuring men. Jack London is an obvious one but I’m very much looking forward to see the one with Brad Pitt coming soon! Thank you as ever for this thoughtful comment.